Original: “No man is an island.” – John Donne
Improved: “No man is Long Island — with the possible exception of Billy Joel.”
New and Improved Quotation for Today
Original: “Never send to know for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee.” – John Donne
Improved: “Never send to know for whom the bell tolls. It’s probably tolling for Jerry. He has emphysema.”
