***Exclusive to The Old Yorker***
***Must Credit The Old Yorker in All Media***
Basset-faced Senator Joe Lieberman’s mild mea culpa has failed to assuage many Democrats who believe he was not sufficiently disciplined for his actions during the recent presidential campaign in which he endorsed the Republican candidate, Sen. John McCain.
“This droop-jowled Independent showed cowardice and disloyalty in his repudiation of Barack Obama and he needs to pay dearly,” said Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA.) “We are not appeased by an underwhelming apology delivered through sagging, fallen, cheek-meat.”
Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-MD) added, “The Senator from Connecticut’s hanging and puffed dewlap jaw-wattle would seem to indicate a dispirited and beaten man, but actually belies the opposite: an undiluted zeal for treachery.”
Democratic senators were undecided about what further sanctions may be requested for the former Democrat whose slack-fleshed, deflated, face-flapping explanation did little to mend fences. However, they did agree on a statement, which read, in part, “Many of us are still not satisfied. The dignity of this chamber has been damaged and cannot be made right by hound-limp, age-shot, jaw-muscles encased in that Turncoat’s pendulous, wrung-rubber mouth slabs.”