The Mirth of the Mead-Hall: Classic Viking Jokes and Riddles

There were in the Isles of the far North, two brothers, Sigund and Vanhiemr, who ruled the neighboring kingdoms of Hugin and Munin. Oft betimes, they would pass one another while surveying their bordering lands. On one occasion, near the hour of Baldr’s funeral, at Biersmund, where the rainbow bridge to Hamdal is said to have its Earthly end (though none in these sad times knows the exact spot) the two did cross paths. “How be you, Good Vanhiemr?,” cried Sigund. “What news of your royal house?”

“My world is dark, Sigund Strong-Arm!” lamented Vanheimr, “Famine haunts my lands and war hath drained my gold!”

“Dear brother, take heart,” assured the calm King Sigund with the wisdom of Fenrir, Bringer of Peace, “Your tale could be far worse.”

Soon once again in the great forest called Cairndell, the royal kinsman did meet, this time on the Eve of Svartalfhien.

Sigund again hailed Vanhiemr. “What news have you, dear brother?” quoth he.

“Oh brother, my fate grows ever blacker,” intoned the hero of Jotnar. “My castle has burned and my queen has died.”

Again with the simple calm liken to that of Signe, Volsung’s daughter, in the great poem that bears her name, Sigund consoled his brother. “Dear Vanhiemr, slayer of Riedmar the Dragon,” he began, “By Odin, Loki, and Gentle Haeinrir, things could be far, far worse!”

Not more than ten days later, near the fearsome abodes of the Black Elves, the brothers did meet a third time. Upon seeing the other, the benighted King Vanheimer cried out in fear and supplication. “Good brother, truly the Vanir have cursed me and the Aesir are deaf to my pleas! The crone Wysowir, who is never wrong, has looked deep into the magic pool at Gdnestak and foretold that I will be dead by Mid-Winter’s Day. A bane of cruel affliction rots my heart.”

Sigund, though the younger of the brethren, smiled and soothed Vanheimr, who from Queen Hunding’s self-same womb had sprung. “Things,” he said, “could be far worse!”

“How?!!” bellowed Vanheimr, “How in the blessed name of Asgard’s legions could things be far worse?”

“Precious brother, blood of my blood, fellow heir to the wealth of Andvarl,” answered steady Sigund, “They could have happened to me!”

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