We have bad news to report. There’s no way to sugarcoat it. Apparently, we were misinformed by a White House source with an addiction to prescription drugs. This source, who we are tempted to identify in order to encourage him to get the help he needs (we will refrain — for now), has, according to his wife, developed a bad habit of telling people what they want to hear. This intense eagerness to please is said to be characteristic of addicts.
Apparently, in order to tell us what he assumed we wanted to hear, the source exaggerated the extent to which President Bush was cowed by our dirty limericks. Although we have confirmed independently that the president is a regular reader of this page, he is not, we are now told, preparing to resign his office in order to stop us making sport of him.
There is no denying that it is a bitter blow to learn that we are no closer to our goal than we at the outset of our limerick campaign. Still, we will not be discouraged and we will not give up. And, to prove it, we have prepared an exceptionally vile limerick that we think will convince certain skeptics in the White House that we mean exactly what we say: it is time for you to go, Mr. President.
There was a Commander-in-Chief
whose fornication duration was brief.
The second he’d skim
the soft skin of a quim,
he’d explode like a skiff on a reef!
