The Old Yorker has not received any further information to add to the exciting news we brought you last week that, under fire from a withering barrage of deeply offensive ribaldry from these pages, President Bush has decided to resign his office and return to Texas. Sources close to the president say that he has spoken wistfully of become involved again with Major League Baseball perhaps as some sort of Drug Czar.
But that is neither here nor there.
Bush’s departure means that, in his place, Dick Cheney will occupy the Oval Office, perhaps not an ideal outcome but one that we have anticipated after a review of the relevant documents and historical precedents.
So our work is not done.
The vice president, we are told, is even more thin-skinned than the president which makes him an ideal target for the next phase of our campaign. Here then a special double-barreled blast in Vice President Cheney’s general direction.
Dick Cheney’s a Wyoming patrician
who partakes of that great state’s traditions.
What he finds the most fun?
As many buttplugs as guns!
His twin loves go on all hunting missions!
Now its rumored when Dick was in Texas
shooting, drinking, and driving his Lexus,
that the great orb in his ass
slipped and dropped on the grass
so a face and some shot found a nexus!
